Win Friends & Influence People
The self-help classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie educates readers on how to interact with others, become more pleasant, accomplish deals, and build relationships.
The timeless ideas in Dale Carnegie’s ground-breaking book How to Win Friends and Influence People are still relevant today. The fundamental element is that altering your own behavior is all it takes to influence others’ actions. It offers the necessary knowledge to better understand people, make friends more effortlessly, build stronger bonds with colleagues, and persuade others to embrace your leadership.
This is a magic guide to help you comprehend others, earn their favor, and persuade them to agree with you. Applying these guidelines will make you more popular and make it easier for you to get along with others on a daily basis.
How to handle people
Let’s begin with the fundamentals. You should always follow these basic interpersonal rules whether you are visiting a workplace, sending an email, or attending an event.
#1: Never criticize anybody
Carnegie argues that using threats or penalties to change behaviors is useless. Criticism frequently results in anger rather than a change in behavior. People learn more quickly and remember information better when they are rewarded for good behavior rather than punished for poor behavior.
#2: Express your real and heartfelt gratitude
The greatest approach to making someone feel important, according to Carnegie, is to show interest in them. Ask questions that show you are genuinely interested whether you are talking with someone at a meetup.
Through appreciation and encouragement, we can make people feel important. Appreciation is honest and selfless. It occurs when we begin to focus on the positive aspects of the other person rather than on ourselves.
#3: Appeal to the other person’s desires
You should ask yourself, “How can I make this individual want to do this?” if you want to convince someone to do anything. When you apply for a job application, emphasize how you can meet their needs rather than your own.
Ways to Make People Like You
#1: Become genuinely interested in other people
Instead of focusing on how you can impress others, try to let them do so. Put yourself out there to do things for others that demand time, effort, selflessness, and attention if you want to make friends. We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
#2: Genuinely smile
A smile is a quick way to create a good first impression. If you want other people to like meeting you, you must enjoy meeting them first. You must make an effort to smile. Being happy will likely to make you feel happier if you act as if you already are.
#3: Keep people’s names in mind
Asking for someone’s name and using their name when you address them is a very subtle yet powerful compliment. We enjoy hearing our own names spoken. It isolates the person and helps them stand out from everyone else.
#4: Be a good listener and encourage people to share their thoughts
Be an excellent listener if you want to have successful conversations. Be interested in order to be interesting. Ask questions that other people are likely to respond to. Encourage them to discuss their accomplishments and about themselves. Just carefully listen and show genuine interest.
#5: Discuss the interests of the other person
People enjoy talking about themselves. The things they appreciate are a specific topic. When you are among others, try to get them to talk about what they are most enthusiastic about while also attempting to learn from them.
#6: Make people feel important, sincerely
Remember to treat others as you would like to be treated. Make the other person feel valued at all times — it’s one fundamental rule of human behavior. Nearly everyone you encounter has a sense of superiority.
How to Win People Over to Your Way of Thinking
#1 Avoid arguments
An argument is impossible to win. If you lose it, you lose it; if you win it, you lose it. When you win in an argument, you degrade the opponent. You could occasionally succeed, but the triumph will always be empty since you’ll never win your opponent’s appreciation.
How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument: Go here…
Do not begin by stating that you are attempting to make a point. This is a challenge that provokes opposition and encourages the listener to become involved. Informing someone that they are wrong is a direct attack on their dignity, intelligence, and self-respect. You may begin with Well, look, I have other ideas, but I may be wrong. And if I’m mistaken, I want to make it right.
#3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly
Admit It If You’re Wrong. In fact, admitting to your mistakes is a great way to build connection, empathy, and trust. Instead of attempting to hide or avoid committing mistakes. If you are mistaken, say so right away.
#4: Start in a friendly way
You must first persuade someone that you are his true buddy in order to win him around to your cause. If you start off angrily, the other person will become angrier.
#5: As soon as you can, get the other person to say “yes, yes.”
Carnegie’s argument is based on the “Socratic method,” which involves asking questions with which they have to agree. People will subsequently be more receptive to fresh ideas since this puts them in a “yes” state of mind.
#6: Leave most of the talking to the other person
Most people talk too much when they are trying to persuade others to accept their viewpoint. Avoid trying to persuade others by exaggerating your own attributes. Allow others to resolve their differences via conversation.
#7: Make the other person feel like they came up with the idea
It’s not always appropriate to give credit where credit is due, according to Carnegie. Give others credit when you can, and emphasize their contributions by praising them. Even if it’s hard, this is important.
#8: Be genuine in your attempt to comprehend other people’s perspectives
You must show that you value the thoughts and feelings of others just as highly as your own. Consider yourself in his shoes. Being understanding of the other person’s perspective is important for interpersonal success.
#9: Be sympathetic
Everyone seeks compassion. Everyone wants to be confident that others can understand their viewpoint. Many people you encounter the desire to be understood. If you give it to them, they’ll adore you.
#10: Appeal to the nobler motives
We all prefer to think of ourselves as moral beings, therefore it’s critical to constantly remind people of these ideals. In order to change people, appeal to their nobler motives.
#11: Dramatize your ideas
Dramatization is happening today. Stick with a stylish slide template instead of a plain one if you want to stand out from the crowd. Never just state the facts. To make a significant effect, try dramatizing them.
#12: A challenge must be made
The one major factor that motivates people is the work itself. The employee looks forward to completing the task and is driven to do a good job if it was interesting and intriguing.
How to Change People Without Offending Them or Arousing Resentment
#1. Start with praise if you need to criticize
In all interactions, especially those that have the potential for conflict, Carnegie urged people to begin with gratitude.
#2: Welcome the disagreement
Many critics start off by sincerely praising the issue, then add the word “but” and a critical opinion. Bring emphasis to mistakes.
#3: Admit your mistakes right away.
First, talk about your own mistakes. We frequently try to cover up or hide the negative stories when we have anything embarrassing about ourselves or when we make a mistake. Acknowledging one’s own mistakes might increase a person’s receptivity and persuade them to change their behavior.
#4: Don’t give orders.
Nobody enjoys following orders. Avoid giving commands, even if you are a manager or supervisor. Nobody enjoys being ordered about.
#5: Consider someone’s ego
Allow the other person to save face. You should address someone personally if you have criticism for them or wish to disagree with their viewpoint.
#6: Be liberal with praise
Everyone enjoys receiving praise, but when it’s specific, it seems genuine rather than like something the other person is saying to make them feel good. Keep in mind that everyone craves praise and recognition and will do everything to obtain it.
#7: Make the other person live up to their reputation.
People are more likely to succeed when you identify them positively or set high standards for them. Always be on the lookout for someone’s natural talents or skills, then point them out so that they can make better use of them.
#8: Thank your opponents
Make the issue seem simple to fix. As much as you can, highlight a person’s positive traits and downplay any negative ones. People are more likely to feel less overwhelmed or intimidated when you support them to accomplish their objectives and get through their challenges.
#9: Get on the same page
Making others happy todo your will. The book’s concluding statement encapsulates everything Carnegie stands for. He exhorts readers to have high aspirations, consider other people’s points of view, and assist others in achieving their goals. Making it about them is the key to being excellent with people.
Key Takeaways from How to Win Friends & Influence People…
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